Where have you been

I’ve been here in my own world, riding this never ending roller coaster. My therapist told me to write a blog post, so here I am…writing a blog post. It’s crazy how much you go through in one month.

This is going to be one of those “whatever is in my mind at the moment” kind of posts so it may or may not make sense.

I’ve accomplished many things in one month so I’m proud of myself. I updated my resume, finished my personal statement, and applied to grad school. I sent an email I was so nervous to send. I’ve been going to the gym much more lately. And by much more I mean I go at least once a week lol. I’m building up the weights with my squats and I’m a little closer to doing a pull up. I’m eating a little better and I’m actually taking my break at work to eat. Most importantly, I’m getting better at self care.

I’ve been trying to work on my happiness and I’m sure the medication I’m taking has been helping with the chemicals in my brain but I do feel happier. I’m more in tuned with myself. I’m listening to my body and becoming more aware of my senses. More of what I want and need than what I want others to see. I’m actually taking the advice my therapist gives me. I’m beginning to accept the past and I look forward to the future. But I’m living in the present. I have to work on a lot of other things. Like household chores lol but I’m getting there.

I have ideas on what I want to post in my blog. I just need to actually do it.

Everyone may be out there for the fame and money. But I’m not. Wait well who am I kidding. I’d be lying if I said I don’t want that. I guess I want that to a certain point. I’m still super shy and I still want my privacy so maybe fame isn’t for me. I mean I’m already putting some of my business out there by writing here, but I don’t know. You know what I mean. If you don’t, I’m not really sure how to explain it. I just want some privacy okay lol. And money. If only I had money to fix my financial problems. No more debt. Let me live the debt free life. No more student loans. What a lovely life that would be. But what if I don’t have money for a reason. I’d probably stop being generous and become greedy. I don’t know.

I think God was talking to me today through someone at work. I need to pray more and listen closely. With everything I’m going through, I definitely believe He was talking to me. Crazy.

So I guess this is it. My blog post. My mind is little quiet now. Thank you for your time.

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